The Longhouse that the Dragonpuncher built

Salutations, all!

Today's installment will contain Chills! Thrills! Following Falkreath's zoning and building code! Murder! Mystery! Home Decor!  No giant spiders, though.  Sorry to whomever keeps getting to this place by using "Skyrim biggest spider", none for you today.  Soon though!  Always gonna be some hot arachnid action somewhere along the line!

Today's piece actually deals with some of the new DLC offered since Skyrim's release last year; specifically the Hearthfire DLC.  Less about active content and questing and stuff, Hearthfire is similar to Oblivion's much maligned Horse Armor.  Its cosmetic, doesn't add much, and is really for the folks who want to have everything (I do.) and expand their immersion into the lands of Tamriel.  (I do want that as well.)  PLUS it was 50% off during Steam's US Thanksgiving sale so HOLLA FOR A DOLLA!  Onwards!


This old longhouse, with Bjorn Valhalla.

Remember one of those courriers I mentioned last week?  Well I followed up on his letter.  It was from the Jarl of Falkreath, effectively a summons; he had some business proposition, and I'm ALL about the business, so I head on over.  I figure Delphine still needs some time to sort out her plan, and I just did a big solid for one of the nine divines; so I figure I've earned some downtime, y'know?

Kind of hard to take a man seriously, when they're maxin' and relaxin' all cool like that.

Siddgeir is kind of new at the whole Jarl game.  So after a few introductions, he asks me for a solid.  There's a mine not-far from Falkreath (LIES!) that is infested with bandits.  He wants them dead.  Why?  Well they kind of welched on a deal with the Jarl, so he's none too happy and honestly would like these loose ends 'taken care of' so they can't be traced back to him.  Whatever; shady deals are bread & butter here in Skyrim, and he's offering me a plot of land to build upon whatever the hell I want, if I complete the task.

That's a fair deal for what I'm usually offered by Jarls; normally its some enchanted helmet, or a spell tome, or maybe even a magical sword; all immediately sent the way of the recycling bin, because I have no use for them.  But a house?  Man I could use a house.  The one in Whiterun is cluttered and useless to me right now.  Time to EXPAND!  So I hoof it over to Bilegulch Mine to find the place... dead.  Seems I've been here before, as there are dead bandits strewn about, most of them already looted down to their unmentionables; my fast travel marker was already lit as well.  When did I come here, previously?  I don't remember.  But hey, that just leaves the mine itself to check out!

Kinda boned if Miner 49er shows up, as I don't have a great dane companion with me.

Turns out I did one hell of a number when I was here previously; the mine itself was empty, save for the Bandit Leader, who I'm amazed didn't just outright leave the mine after all this time of being the sole representative of his gang of murdered marauders.  Some folks just don't know when to quit.  Then I decided to ram my fist into his face.  Repeatedly.

Knuckle sandwiches are for chumps; this here's a FIST HOAGIE.

The mood lighting made it kind of sad.  Kind of.  As soon as he hit the ground, I took his sword, which was enchanted with fire as a token to remember him by, and then proceeded to mine the everloving crap out of the mine.  Orichalcum Ore out the butthole, son!  Of course on returning back to Falkreath, Siddgeir's all happy I did him his favor, and so offers me the plot of land.

For 5,000 gold sovereigns.  Ha Ha you thought it was gonna be FREE, didn't you?  Silly Dragonpuncher.  Seriously spent the better part of 5 minutes resisting the urge to Fus-Ro-Dah his smirk off of his face; but with all those spoils from the bandit and the mine, that price isn't that bad.  Also selling pretty much everything I find helps keep me rolling around in gold coins like I was Scrooge McDuck.  Oh man, Bethesda; anthropomorphic duck-people in next Elder Scrolls game.  go go go go.

Having a bit more cash leftover from raiding the countryside of 'evil do-ers', I figure before going out and staking a claim in the wild yonder its... MAKEOVER TIIIIIIIIIIME.  I'm in desperate need of new threads; these Legendary Dragonbone Armor pieces are effective and all, but they don't really speak to me.  I need something more in line with my humble roots; so I fabricated the following attire.

Dragonborn Hobo.  Dog not included.  (More on him later.)

And at night:

Eat your heart out 3 wolf moon shirt. I got more moons.

I'm expecting to have 'smelly hobo furs' be trending for the upcoming winter fashion catalog.  Its hard being the Dragonborn AND such a trend-setter at the same time, but when you're gifted with such talent it would be a shame to waste it.

New threads, I head on out to my plot of land, Somethingsomething Manor, whatever.  DRAGONPUNCHERLAND!  And to my surprise this is what I find.  An empty lot with a workbench, grindstone, and a pickaxe next to some large stones.  But the most interesting bit was this:

Construction for dummies

While the book seems to insinuate you're a complete moron when it comes to building houses, it does have a bunch of 'recipes' inside it that you learn automatically by reading it.  From there-on, you're able to use the drawing table to doodle up some blueprints like you went to Architect college for 8 million years and know what you're doing.

If leaning on desks and looking pensive/concentrated were a lifeskill, I'd be a goddamn captain of industry.

Ok, so build the floor, foundation, doors, wall supports, walls, ceiling supports and finally roof.  Gotcha.  Oh I need lumber.  Where do I get that?  Local lumbermill?  Sheesh.  They rope you in with "Build your dream house!" and then forget to tell you that everything is EXTRA.  I have to make my own goddamn nails!  NAILS!  Nobody sells those, but sure enough everybody is living in a house of some sort, built with nails!  Except the guys who live in tents, I guess.  Whatever.  Until Skyrim develops Home Hardware technology where I can create a contractor account and order lumber online to be delivered, I gotta do it the old fashioned way.  With my feets and the walking and stuff.

U MAD?

OF COURSE it can't be easy.  Closest sawmill has a wee bit of a dragon problem.  What with the dragon roosting on the sawmill itself.  HEY, it's what I'm here for, isn't it.  Like some clown, here to amuse you.  But instead of balloon animals and seltzer bottles, its punching ancient wyrms and getting covered in eldritch mouth-fire.  Similar shoes, though.

I wish he'd wipe that Smaug look off his face.  Yes I went there.

Once the dragon infestation taken care of, lady at the sawmill didn't even offer a discount.  Just a "HEY! Thanks. that'll be a bazillion gold, ok?  Don't worry, we'll deliver."  AT LEAST THERE'S THAT.  Shipping and handling included?  What are you lady, the Amazon.com of Tamriel?  No, because Amazon at least has decent prices, unlike your war crime of a price system.  Guess I'll go hock more swords to afford it, but in the end, I know its worth it.  Just that hint of buyer's remorse lurking about.

My first(second) house.  Also: moose.  (More on him next time.)

Well I get the first bit of my house done; the plans then open up to being able to add in extra bedrooms (???), an armory, a garden, kitchen, greenhouse, the works.  Weird thing is now that I've built it, every time I leave and come back, there's this moose there, who bolts the instant he sees me.  Like "OH SHIT HE'S BACK." and starts scampering off for the horizon.  Its actually quite annoying, because having a moose infestation is something I cannot wrap my mind around.

It's no Malibu dream house, but it'll do for now.

Once a structure built, you can build furniture on the inside with further materials.  At this point all I had left was enough lumber for a big chest, and a cooking fire.  Baby steps.  Then I hear a ruckus outside; better not be that damn moose again!

Heidy-ho, Necro-neighbour!

Oh good its just my next-door neighbour, a necromancer.  Wait.  Yeah sorry buddy; the homeowner's association (Me.) doesn't look too kindly on the dark arts of bending the very mysteries of life and death to your whim. (You.)  So we're gonna have to take action.  (Violently.)

OOH!  RIGHT IN THE REAGENT-POUCH!

Mean?  Yes.  Oh my very much yes.  Effective? Also yes.  One's ability to cast is severely hindered when you've just received a steel-toed boot to the soul gems.  Suddenly, somatic and verbal components kind of don't matter anymore.  In other news, the place next door is free for anybody who'd like to move in!  Previous owner has departed for greener pastures.

What a busy day; After all that building and nut-kicking, I took a breather over in Falkreath, and figured I'd go see if there wasn't anything I could do to take my mind off of my house-related thoughts.  Turns out the blacksmith lost his dog!  Hey, finding a lost dog, that sounds pretty easy.  Walk in the park! With a dog! Ha Ha!  Y'know, then this happened:

If you tell me I'm "the Hand chosen by the Master", dog I'ma kill you.

So yeah, that happens.  Next installment (Wednesday!) the time me and this dog go about doin' thangs!


Comments/Requests/Litigations/Etc leave'em below!

Are you there Meridia? Its me, Dovahkiin...

Bit of news: a friend of mine (Sir Lord Regent of Whitehead) over at Eurogamer's reviewed the latest Skyrim DLC, Dragonborn; its supposedly really good, however won't be released on PC/Steam version until early '13.  Bleh.  Read his review here!

With that out of the way, onwards gentle reader! Meridia's quest won't complete itself!  (I tried.  I just sat there, and shit didn't do NOTHIN' by itself.  So disappointed.)

The Meridian Candidate

Last we left off, I had just beaten up the entire pirate population of Solitude's northern shores.  Bad for the environment?  Not really, there's no shortage of Bandits, Highwaymen, and Thieves.  Also pirates populate like rabbits, and I'm pretty sure I left at least two alive so they could spread news of my campaign of tyranny on their kind.

Off to the Temple of Meridia! (Not really named that.) Of course, like everything in this game, its' at the ass-end of the world opposite where I am.  Shortest distance being a straight line, this time it took me through so me mountainous ranges, and I witnessed something I haven't seen in forever...

Sneaux.  A-lee-kee-bewm-bewm-nam.

It's December 7th, we still don't have any here in the Maritimes.  In fact, my A/C unit is still in the livingroom window.  This isn't because its warm outside, but because I'm very lazy.  Also its warm outside.

So going up and over the mountain range was probably three times as long as going around, but I had one hell of a view, and even a race with a mountain goat; I won because I FUS RO DAH'd his ass off a cliff.  Meridia's temple is actually a large sprawling building carved directly into the mountain side, but is locked from within.  Bullshit.  So I had to hoof it over to this here statue/shrine combo.

50/50 chance of gaining either the Varia Suit, or a giant boulder chasing after me.

Put the beacon back into its' pedastal?  Simple enough.  I mean nothing weirds gonna happ--

HALP.  HAAAAAALP.  SOMETHING IS PROBLEM.  GRAVITY STAHP.

We could've done this on the ground you know.

I'll give it to Meridia though; as much as teleporting me a mile up in the air was for show, its also incentive; She basically doesn't give you a choice in restoring her temple to functionality.  Well she gives you a choice, where the choice is do as she says, or take the express way back down.  Also she doesn't even specify what's wrong with her temple, other than one of her old followers went inside, and locked all the doors.  So I'm tasked with opening all the other doors on the inside, and finding Milkyway. Mandalore. Malkoran, that's it.  Malkoran.

Crystal soccer ball refracts light at perfect angles AND is a key.  SMART.

So through Meridia's bullshit Deus Ex Machinae (Literally this) she unlocks the outside door into the temple of Kilkreath.  From there-on, her illumination would only be able to guide me, not protect me.  Presumably because she can't protect SHIT, as the place is FILLED with these:

More like Dessicated Corpse, amirite?

And that's it.  I stumbled over at least TEN of those, moving from section to section within the temple, eventually finding a pedestal to raise yet another soccer ball to bounce the lightbeam off of; results were a door opening / bridge lowering into place or some other impasse being removed from my way.  Easy.  Too easy.  I've got my guards up, even if the effect is pretty cool-lookin'

Reflection of light givin' me dat priaPRISM.

OK that was a bad joke.  Moving on.  Yet another glowy ball, another room, SNORE.  I've done these switches like 4 times already; and haven't hit a single goddamn thing so-far.  WHY Meridia was even worried, I'll never know.  Here let me just open this door here and--

NSHAJDBIDAJ BNADLADNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

GET AWAY
GET AWAY
SHOO SHOO

Oh god that thing just pops out of the fucking ETHER at you!  And they make NO SOUND until they're right ontop of you; but when you CAN hear them, its a mix of this whispery raspy breathing, skeleton clattering, and maybe an infant weeping.  That might've been me, I'm not sure.  Look, I was terrified and I might've overreacted a bit.  Suffice to say I immediately recanted my statement about Meridia being a pushover, because these guys (Presuming they're the leftovers from all of those desecrated corpses lying around earlier, as the armor seems to match) are TOUGH.  I mean hardened criminal tough.  They wouldn't shed a tear even if their nanas died.

JUBILEE POWERS: ACTIVATE!

Healing myself from the damage they caused served only in angering these shades even further.  But they were nothing compared to Mac-at-nite. I mean Macedonia. Malkoran.   That guy.  As a Nord, I recieve 50% Frost resist as a passive stat; Nords are hardy and beefy natives of Skyrim, so they're used to it being colder than a yeti's dick.  You'd think this would come in handy against Malkoran, a mage who uses ice spells as his weapon of choice.

Pulling punches, in that I've pulled back too far from my target.  Fuck.

So my first (And several other) attempts at Malkoran ended like this, not too shortly after my initial full-on frontal attack.  Because that's how I do it; Skyrim-style.

So frequent an occurrence for this fight, just click on this one image like 8 times.

I kissed that floor so many times; Malkoran's magic is either BULLSHIT or BULLSHIT I can't tell.  Because he'd launch this giant blizzard orb my way, and I'd effectively just DIE right there.  Eventually, I managed to used my environment to my advantage, when he began casting.  (See: I hid behind the pillars like a little bitch)  It was quite fruitful.

OH MAH GAWD.

STONE COLD

STUNNAH

Those giant glowy blue things stuck inside me? Ice spikes.  They work similar to arrows in that if shot by some they protrude outwards and look all boss.  No wonder I was dying; I look like I messed with a frost giant or something.  Watching Malkoran skid a few feet face-first on the ground was very satisfying.  Unfortunately that moment was fleeting as this bullshit happened:

ROUND TWO MOTHAFUKKA.

This is where Bethesda's legacy kicked in for me in a beneficial way, actually.  The shade glitched onto some of that stone slab's geometry, and was unable to attack me.  So after you know, healing myself from the brink of death's door there on account of the ice magic, I was free to approach this new situation head-on.

That didn't work.  Why? Because the shade was glitched.  punching him was doing no damage, despite connecting with the target.  FUS RO DAH'ing the target clear of the ledge wasn't working either, as the shade just kept jittering about the same small patch of floor, stuck within some sort of invisible box.  Can't use a weapon, can't use magic...  Only course of action?  Dragon fire shout.  Yes, this might seem like cheating on the challenge a bit, as this shout does cause a moderate amount of damage, and is a ranged attack.  I usually stick to FUS'in, since that doesn't cause any damage (unless you knock them off a cliff), just knockback.  However, it was late, and I wanted to just get it over with.  So I proceeeded to firebreath this guy once every 30 seconds (internal dragonshout cooldown), chipping away at his health.  and I do mean chip away.  I yelled at him for about 8 minutes before he died.

Victory!  I place the final beacon, having completed my quest for Meridia.  Immediately she teleports me out of the dungeon, says that she had observed me for a long time and was confident I would be the one to finally rid her temple of blah blah blah the standard diety speech.  For my troubles, I am rewarded with Dawnbreaker!  HELLS YEAH!  DAWNBREAKER!  What's a dawnbreaker?

A sword that causes explosions.  Meridia you bitch.

Of COURSE the item is awesome but there's no way I'm allowed to use it because of the whole punching things in the face.  Guess I'll go get my 740 golds' worth out of it.  Maybe keep it as decoration for my house.

Speaking of: Next week's Geeking Out in Skyrim.  That time I bought/built a house, and pissed off my neighbours in the process!

The Gods Must Be Lazy: Skyrim edition

Another day, another adventure.  On our last meeting, we had just taken care of Deeja the double-crosser, and her cohort of merrily deceased marauders.  On account of all that double-crossing, see?  We just can't have that.  I won't stand for it, and neither should you!

So let's go see an Argonian about some treasure!

Pirate's Booty 2: Keelhaulin' Ass.

Between punching these fools, and taking all their stuff, I remembered that Delphine is somewhere in Skyrim, patiently waiting for me to get back there and carry on her quest about the Blades or whatever.  Sheepish grin would be appropriate, but hey; these pirates? They're gonna keep right on piratin' if I don't do something about it.  And the next guy they bamboozle into doing their dirty work for them well; he might might not be as awesome as I am, and get killed in the process.  Can't have that on my concience.  So OFF WE GO!

Pirate hideout composed entirely of wrecked ships?  Seems legit.

Having wrested the directions to their little clubhouse or clubcave I should say, making my way there was relatively easy and uneventful.  Once inside howeveer getting to Jaree-Ra was another matter entirely.  The system of causeways between hastily assembled scaffolding and shipwrecks left me open to ranged attacks, and each one of these pirates was a seasoned archer.  I took so many arrows to the torso, that I thought I was going to die.  Well no, I thought I had died and found heaven, because:

"ALL THE MEAT AND CHEESE THAT YOU HAVE." - Ron Swansonpuncher

Glorious meat and cheeses; where were you my entire life!  Come to daddy om nom nom.  This of course, angered the locals.  Crack shots as they are, they weren't as brilliant at fisticuffs.  Evidence shown below:

Intercontinental Champion!

Perfect Teeth!

No Cavities!

I must've angered the momma bear, because Jaree-Ra showed up not too long after I royal Rumbled the schillings out of his minions.  And he must've been pissed, because not only did he show up for a good ol' fashioned fist fight, he struct a JCVD pose.

I am goeng tew keek yohr ass. So hord. Da neks Dragunboarn iz guna feel eet!

A for Effort, at least.  Jaree-Ra wasn't much for conversation like our last meeting dockside at Solitude's harbor; he knew why I was here.  He knew the score.  He had ordered me killed, and his underlings failed to deliver.  If I showed up here it was because reparations were to be made.  But negotiations were out of the question.  You don't really have any leverage over a man you've previously attempted to have murdered, when they persist on living and showing up at your doorstep.  All you gotta do is square your shoulders, and deal with the situation as best you can, yourself.

"Oh you're actually good at this punching thing.  Shit."

Suffice to say, Jaree-Ra died like a bitch.  Also his boss, who I was unaware even existed, decided to come down a gangplank and see what all the ruckus was all about.  He died too.  And I took his things.  Even his dessert.  I ate it right next to his corpse.

Hostess with the Mostest.

It was delicious.  Well, as delicious as a pastry can be when the creme fraiche filling is turning into almost a sour greenish color, just laying there for who-knows-how-long on a wooden desk, in the middle of a water-filled damp cave.  Modern health officials would shit themselves if this place were a restaurant.

Captain Hargar.  Horrible man.  Excellent corpse.

Having defeated the Blackblood Marauders by my lonesome, eating the good captain's twinkie, and sated my vengeance on Jaree-Ra, I rummaged through that there chest hoping to find something of worth.  And hoo boy did I!  A large gem, called Meridia's beacon.  Like soccerball-sized.  And the thing talked.  What do gems say?  The usual.

Its dangerous to go alone! Do this quest!

What I thought would be a simple smash'n'grab, turns out I gotta go be a herald to Meridia, and fix whatever broken nonsense with her temple because these nigh-powerful cosmic wanderers can't do it themselves.  Oh well, Delphine can wait some more!  I got some God's errand to do to get favor for!


Next time on Geeking out in Skyrim: Tyler Perry's Meridia Goes To Jail.

Rising from the ashes like some sort of mythical creature... like a Slow Loris but with a gun.

Excelsior, bitches!

I've been away for a while.  I'm sorry.  It's partly my fault, partly that cosmic macarena that is destiny.  The karmic pendulum swung hard this summer, and killed my Skyrim-PC, ironically as I was coming back from a funeral.  Then Mists of Pandaria happened, and other stuff; its a long story filled with sighs.  However, I managed to get my old PC working, and somehow its' able to run Skyrim!  Furthermore, Steam's thanksgiving sales got me the two Skyrim DLCs for 50% off so BONUS CONTENT!

And as a recap for those of you just joining us: I was given the challenge of playing Skyrim without using weapons at all one day on a good friend's local radio show. (I played live on-air.  It was bawss.)  Including offensive magic.  Not like, Power Word: Fuck You, but more along the lines of Fireballs.  That kind of offence   I say "Fuck You" a lot, but it does not cause any visible damage to the denizens of Tamriel.  These are my adventures so-far!

And now, for our adventure in progress: Pirate Booty (Part 1)

Solitude-in-the-mists...

I 'woke up' from my unwanted sabbatical in Solitude; fitting really.  After a few graphic settings tweaks, I manage to shamble towards the exit, where two couriers accost me; one to tell me the Jarl of Falkreath has made me a Huscarl!  And that doing so I get to buy a plot of land, and dole that place up to my heart's delight (Hearthfire DLC).  The second courier was less cordial, and straight up recruited me to go kill vampires.  I figure that punching a vampire must be as fun as punching a dragon, so I tell the man I'm down like a clown for that nonsense (Dawnguard DLC) and head my merry way down the main path out of Solitude.

But first, I want to get my bearings; I have a whole mess of old quests lying around, and one of them is to turn the Solitude lighthouse' fire off.  Maybe they want to conserve energy or something, I don't know.  So I set off to see a man about a lighthouse.

My love, my life, and my lady is the sea.  Don't tell my wife.

Ok, so there's the lighthouse.  Hopefully I won't need to talk to some creepy old lighthouse keeper, or do some mundane fetch-quest for him so I can douse the fire up top.  Actually I don't have to.  Damn thing's abandoned.  Maybe that's why they want the fire off?  If we're not using it, why leave it on type of deal.

I tried my ice breath.  Didn't work.  Touching it did though.  Weird.

So the fire's out.  Good jorb, me!  Lets get back to town, and talk to that wonderful Argonian Jaree-Ra who tasked me with reducing redundant government spending in Solitude.  This empowers me, knowing that even  local governments take energy & resource waste seriously.  Hopefully their health care system is up to par because...

"Looks like I have to... jump!" Dragonpuncher... too?

Shortest distance between full health and a death cinematic is a plummet.  I didn't die, but lets just say I had to eat an obscene amount of apples to get back up to snuff.  Good thing I've been hoarding them!  Jaree-Ra's all happy I've taken care of that loose end because this means... the Icerunner (Shipname; adequate as Skyrim is filled with ice) will now hit the shoals and run aground.  Well shit.  I'm less Parks & Rec and more Somali Pirate right now.  WELL no sense in dwelling in such a thick moral dilemna; that wrecked ship won't rob itself!  Tally ho!

Gibbets: the natural escalation from a Skull & Crossbones flag.

I'm somewhat relieved that at the very least, I'm robbing other pirates.  Jaree-Ra tells me to hook up with his buddies the Blackblood Mercenaries at the ship, as they've been waiting the whole time there.  Even took care of the original crew!  By this I mean killed them.  So I get there, and am told to talk to the little skirmish-team leader, an Argonian named Deeja so I can get my cut.  I'm all about the loot, so I mosey on down below, only to notice that the Blackbloods pretty much took everything that wasn't nailed down to the hull.  Well.  Almost everything.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

The cake was a figment of the diamond's imagination the whole time.  There I've ruined it for you.  A brief pause to read from the pirates' selection, and I'm off to Deeja!  Who, I've been assured upon arriving, wishes to conspire with me over my remuneration, and possibly further contracts!  In the back of my mind its just a constant stream of gold coins plinking down into my coin purse, neverending.  S'great.

Your payment is MURDER!

D-D-D-D-DOUBLECROSS! My fee for helping out was supposedly a quick death!  Well I wasn't gonna have any of that at all! Oh hell no the nuh-uh the no way!  Deeja you're going DOWN!

The black inky veins on their necks reminds me of Andy On's character in True Legend.

Well now; I cannot abide by a broken contract.  You promised me loot Deeja and Jaree-Ra!  Exquisite loot!  How could you do this to me, but a humble Dragonpuncher!?  I guess I'm going to have to take it out on your gaggle of minions.  Sucks to be them.  No really.  In some Skyrim content patch between this post and the previous one, they added in further cinematic kill-moves for unarmed players.  I am now a wrasslin' man.

OH

MAH

GAWD. PILEDRIVERRRRRRRRRRRR!

Poor mage never knew what truly hit him.  I do though.  It was the floor.  The floor hit him pretty hard.  To think that mere moments ago, before I had words (fists) with Deeja, these guys were all congratulatory to me about shutting off the lighthouse.  The world of piracy is a fickle mistress, and allegiances are swiftly made, and even quicker broken; like this poor sap's nose bridge.

Open wide; the Pain Train's a comin' CHOO CHOO!

This guy was successfully 'Interrogated' to learn out where Jaree-Ra & Co were hiding out.  And by interrogated, I mean I killed him and looked through his pockets, finding a note with the pirate group's address.  Only slightly more difficult than using Google Maps at this point.

On our next instalment; I go find Jaree-Ra, and force-feed him his own tail! (Not really.  Maybe.)

Questions?

Comments?

Stories of your own?

Leave'em down below in the comment section!