I never died, really; sometimes other things have a way of overwhelming folks, and through happenstance a whole bunch of overwhelming done did happened. Hopefully that's all settled (Probs isn't.) but lets keep on keepin' on.
Where were we? Let us count the ways!
|GRIM DETERMINED GAZE: CHECK|
Aww there she is. Smoldering with barely-checked rage and father issues. JUST HOW I LIKE'EM!
|NO MAKE UP NO FILTER NO PULSE|
|No limit imposed if you catch them bare-handed, because who's gonna stop you.|
|The pool boy's pretty hardcore 'bout his job.|
Once inside, I find out I gotta head through this mess to find Serana's mom's garden. Because a vampire tending to flora that feeds off of sunlight is poetic or art or I don't know. It's dumb. I make it a point to tell this to Serana multiple times. Unfortunately me saying "This is dumb. You're dumb." to my screen doesn't do much.
|ACTIVATE THE LEVERRRRRRRRR!|
|RELEASE THE HOUNDS|
AAAAAAAARGJLEGRJALAHRELANBFDUBJSKD ND DEATH DOGS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
They run at you and make no sound, as they are made of inky black nothingness and that shit is nightmare fuel, son.
|Vampires + Salts = Bath Salts? (Ugh. Boo me. Boo.)|
|Right about now, suddenly becoming arachnophobic feels like a BAD idea.|
|It's like he's going "HAAAAAAAAAY! Party over here!" but the party is him drinking my liquefied innards.|
Why's it gotta be spiders. STILL with the spiders. I'm level 32; send me something bigger/tougher than spiders already! (I am going to regret this, actually.)
|A vampire's garden, containing a sundial. The irony is thick here.|
|Dialin' it back, we're goin' deeper underground.|
|Their last supper.|
|The last supper 2: BACK FOR SECONDS|
Oh thank goodness, they're just undead. Wait. No that's not good. Hold on, I gotta deal with this. Knuckle sandwiches are being served to all those in attendance, I assure you.
|Keith David's gotta eat, man.|
|So thirsty! Milk was a bad choice!|
|Weird virgin mother symbols: CHECK|
Of course they're gonna get heavy-handed with the religious symbols; they're vampires attempting to bring about a world-altering prophecy to usher in their race as top dog, since vampire lords are already pretty much Gods amongst mortals. Whatever. Dragons were supposed to be Gods amongst mortals too, and not only do I kill them bare-handed, I also consume their souls.
|Serana showin' off her Jubilee powers. *SPARKLE SPARKLE*|
Of course not. one of them was only half-carved, so he didn't come to life only to get smashed to BITS.
|Vampire swag, #YOLF|
I seem to have punched my way through all the defenses this lady's set up, and as myself and Serana penetrate into the final sanctum of her mother's catacombs, I can't help but wonder: why don't I just murder them all, already. Oh well.
|Cool floor design, bro.|
|YOU GOT: BEE.|
|♫ Alchemixin' like a DJ - Restoration restore my energy ♫|
Hmm, oh yeah, need that blood! Since Serana's mom used her own blood, we figure her daughter's blood should be close enough, right?
|GON' BLEED YOU. REAL QUIET. LEAVE YA HERE.|
|WELKOM TEW OUTWARLD.|
But hey! We're goin' down there because Serana's mom is down there, and we need to find out WHY she disappeared forever, and locked her daughter away with an Elder Scroll in that temple that stuck my hand with a needle that one time, WTF lady.
Just one problem, though:
|Sophie's Choice, updated.|
So my choices are: become a vampire, the one thing I've pretty much dedicated my last few days as a dovahkiin to destroy and stuff as a member of the Dawnguard -or- Y'know, have part of my soul offered as tribute to the IDEAL MASTERS, who are in no way going to backstab me and try to get it all for themselves, and dick me over in the afterlife because I don't have a soul anymore.
As much as I regret it, the choice is made painfully clear. Also vampirism can pretty much be cured really easy in Skyrim. You pay a guy, there's a few words, BOOM. Vamp-b-gone.
|I CHOSE... WISELY!|
|WHATS GOING ON. HELP. I NEED AN ADULT.|
I am now a Vampire Dragonborn former-werewolf vampire hunter leader of the Companions, about to enter what is essentially Purgatory. I bet there's nothing down there that isn't as horrible as I've met so-far in Skyrim or any of the Oblivion shards I've visited already!
|I WAS WRONG OH GOD I WAS WROOOOOOOOOONG|
GHOST SMOKE BONE MEN WHAT WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT WHAAAAAAAAAAAT.
WHAT IS THIS SORCERY. LETS FIND OUT NEXT TIME WHENEVER I GET AROUND TO UPDATIN' AGAIN. SOON I HOPE? MAYHAPS UNLESS THE BONEMEN GET ME.