Sunday, March 4, 2012

The Companions 2: Guild Harder

I was going to stretch this one out to 3 parts, but I'm actually anxious to getting back to Skyrim (I take an inordinate amount of screenshots, which allows me to not spend all my free time playing then blogging about it directly afterwards.)

The Companions pt. 2

So then; where were we.  Ah yes, upon returning to Jorvaskkr, we find out that...

KODLAK IS DEAD.  Oh noes.  Someone start the LotR Enya music.  See, while I was out traipsing about Skyrim's peaks and valleys searching for some witches who deserved stitches, The Silver Hand (No relation to World of Warcraft's similarly-named faction) decided to bust on inside the Companions Club House, and kill the old guy; on account of them being hardcore werewolf hunters.  In fact, he's the only casualty.  At least for the Companions!  Whole mess of Silver Hand all bein' dead and shit, lyin' around, corpsin' up the place.

Plan of action?  Go to the Silver Hand base, and exact bloody vengeance upon them 'cause what the hell, man!  Not cool!  Kodlak was cool and stuff, and even wanted to cure himself.  So I kinda owe him one! (I don't, but I want to get rid of this quest, so I gotta.)  Onwards, halfway across Skyrim! (AGAIN.)

Don't get 'a head' of yourself.
Holy shit these guys mean business.  I mean, that's decoration for them.  Me, I'd put a throw rug, maybe some candle wall-sconces. a vase with flowers maybe?  Silver Hand?  NOPE.  SWORDS AND WOLF HEADS.  KEEP TO THE THEME.  And their name?  Not just a name.  They all have silver-edged weapons, which cause extra damage to werewolves.  (That includes me, even though I have yet to wolf out and surf a van while wearing shades.)  So every time they actually hit me, which lets face it is a lot because as I'm using both hands to fight, I can't block (I know, its retarded) and I'm never the one being wise about engaging targets one on one, when there's HEY LOOK!  DUDES! And I just run at the nearest grouping.

Always offer a reassuring shoulder grab, before you cave their face in with your fist.
Just so we're on the same page; its not like these guys ever stopped to ask me if I was a good or bad werewolf.  These guys are clearly insane, and must be exorcised via violent absolution of my hands upside their head.  I mean they brought it upon themselves.  That's my excuse for a massacre, and I'm stickin' to it.

Knuckle sandwiches: 5$.  Note: beaten dead horse in background.
I don't know why they have a dead horse in a cage tucked away in a cave here.  These guys are kinda weird already, besides their werewolf hatred.  Like they just enjoy torturing people altogether, because there's a lot more gruesome scenery than the dead horse, and they're FINE with it.  Like right next to the dormitory, is this giant room of hatred, covered in blood and offal. (Love that word.)

Despite all his rage, still stuck in a cage.
For some reason, they kept this one alive.  Possibly to kill at a later date.  Never know when you need a fresh werewolf to be slain to impress the recruits!  This one was feral, as in he was as likely to eatmurderkill me as anybody else within the complex.  Its not that I wasn't sympathetic to his situation, but also: HONEY BADGER DON'T GIVE A DAMN.  So I left his ass there.  He's a werewolf, he's supposed to be resourceful.  I am, hell, why can't he be either.  Oh yeah, stuck in a cage.  Sucker.

OH MAH GAWD STONE COLD STUNNAH! STUNNAAAAAH.  Ahem.  So; after chokeslamming the Silver Hand leader to death, I find a bonus to my satiation of vengeance for Kodlak: a piece of a legendary weapon, once belonging to Ysgrammor himself!  Ysgrammor is the founder of the Companions, and had this sweet battleaxe which  I can now totally smelt back together, because that's how things work.

Back in Whiterun, we hold a funeral service for Kodlak.  And I'm told that hey!  Even though he's dead right now and all, we can still save Kodlak's immortal spirit before he gets tossed into Hircine's backyard like so many wayward mutts.  I just need to reforge Wuuthrad (Battleaxe), bring it to Ysgrammor's tomb which used to be the original Companions hideout before he died, and also one of those witches' heads because why not.

Tomb Raidin' like it was goin' out of style. 
So upon entering the tomb, I'm followed by Varkas and Aela who absolutely want to help out.  I don't have a choice in the matter, and they're about as much help as a 4 year old during peace negotiations between Jordan and Israel.  I mean they're getting so much in the way, that they end up taking a knee every fight because their dumb ass went and got in the way of my mighty Dragonpuncher God-Fist(tm).

Who are you gonna call?
New enemy type!  Ghosts!  Holy crap!  Scared!  Because while up close they're easy enough to see, if you're far-off they melt into the wispy fog-filled background, and don't make noise when moving about!  Also, they're kinda tough.  I mean, punching a ghost is hard enough work, but getting a solid hold onto one to punch it in the mouth in the first place is a whole new challenge.  Halfway through, Varkas tells me he can't go any further.  I mean the dude has waded through fiercer carnage, just killed a bunch of spooky ghosts, but has to stop.  I wonder what in the world could possibly give such a man pause...

"I hate spiders." - Prof. Jones.
Of course.  What else could induce such nightmares as to stop a seasoned fighter cold in his tracks?  Fucking. SPIDERS.  At least there aren't any big ones around right n--

Arachnophobia is an acquired taste now.
Goddamnit.  AND its poison is draining me of stamina with every scary bite!  I'm getting tired just punching at it!  Its just a giant spider though; so I manage to dispose of it, and patch up my wounds with some grilled leeks and salmon.  Not literally, I mean I ate them, and regenerated my health.  Stuffing grilled leeks and salmon into open wounds that's gross.  You're gross.

Punching ghosts in the face, while listening to Southern Rock; its Skyrimnatural. (I'm totes Dean.)
The final room had a swarm of ghosts; all former Companions, risen from their eternal slumber within Ysgrammor's tomb to 'test the worthy'.  yeah OK.  Whatever.  I mean I've gotten this far.  I can't imagine they're really hellbent on killing me anyways, since if I punch them 'dead' they can't get any deader, they just fade out of the room, and probably go back to Sovngarde with a cool story to tell.

So I get done with the 20 or so ghosts that came out to give me a smack on the cheek and a 'how ya do', when Kodlak shows up, all Ghost-style.  Tellin' me if I throw one of those nasty witch heads into this here fire, I can set him free.  Thing is, I have to fight his wolf-spirit to truly free him, so he can essentially hang out with his dead friends in the afterlife and get drunk on ghost beer.  He'd totally do it, but he can't because of y'know the whole being a ghost thing.  Sure, fine.  I'm the Dragonpuncher, what's a wolf spirit gonna do 'bout it.  Thing is probably retardedly small.  It wasn't.  Neither was mine.

Aela attempting to get it on with my wolf-spirit it seems.  Inappropriate.
And they were angry.  Even if I hadn't had my wolf-spirit for considerably that long in comparison to Kodlak, he wasn't any less ferocious.  Maybe its because I enjoy daily leisurely strolls through heavily wooded areas, and punch entire wolfpacks dead for no reason.  Maybe its because it mirrors the owner's own force of personality, so like you're fighting yourself man; its all philosophical.

I don't know; I'm not a doctor.

Sit Spirit-Ubu sit.  Good dog.
This existential crisis did not stop me however from putting my wolf-spirit down harder than Old Yeller.  Fully cured of my werewolfism, having saved Kodlak's immortal essence from the Daedric Prince Hircine's eternal hunting grounds, I am offered the leadership of the Companions!

Damn, it feels good to be a gangstah.

Next time: I putter around Skyrim while Delphine works on stuff!

if anybody has any extra challenges they'd like to toss my way, things to try / not try, etc, drop a comment below!  Or whatever.  Validate me!

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