Tuesday, September 23, 2014

This isn't rocket surgery, you morans!

It's that time again!

As we leave Nipton, I'm reminded of something Boxcars told me, shortly before I caused his head to collapse inward like a spoiled melon; Legion took captives to a camp nearby.  So, lets go settle that while making our way to NOVAC, in search of the man who shot me!

Behold; yon abandoned ranch...

Just beyond the Wolfhorn ranch above, lies a Legion camp.  I'm shunned by them, but I'm not yet such a pariah that they outright detest me.

Let's fix that.

Gon' make you blow a load in yo pants guuuuuuuurl.

Drinkin' dat Haterade

Chillin' like a Villain-Villain.

I think they're blowing it out of proportion again; "overwhelmingly monstrous behavior" towards roaming marauders, murderers, rapists and slavers?  Just throw me the keys to the city all ready.

Well that was nice.  Now on to NOVAC.


Victor!  That Rootin'-Tootin' robot from Goodsprings who done what saved me from that early and shallow grave!  He's in NOVAC's outskirts, but he doesn't know why!  He's pretty happy regardless to see me there, though.  That's nice!  It's hard to make friends in an irradiated wasteland; let alone time to cultivate and tend to said friendships.  I'm thankful for Victor here.


NOVAC baby!  It's actually because the sign for the Dino T-Rex Motel's "NO VACANCY" is broken and only the NO VAC part lights up.  WELP time to go explorin' about town.

Sneakin' up on sour snipers who sulk about.  ♫ Alliteratiooooooooon! ♫

If you're a sniper and you get done snuck up upon, you are a shitty sniper.  I don't care HOW you try and rationalize it.  That shit's SHAMEFUL.  Boone's his name and he is SURLY.  Oh my; he is very pissed off and has anger in his heart.

Why?  Well, he lost his wife.  Not like, she left, or she's gone, I mean she is, but he knows something terrible.  He knows someone had her kidnapped before she died.  He wants to find out who did it; who sold out his honey-boo.  I can respect that; that's cool man.  I'd be hella mad if someone done took my girl and sold her off.  Its fortunate too since I'm new in town and nobody knows me, so I might catch the sneaky person red-handed by lowerin' their guard because hey; I'm just a new person in town; a-ramblin' drifter a-tumblin' on outta here soon.


Daisy here is essentially a very elaborate & banal easter egg if you'd like about Fallout 2.  The tiny starting village of Arroyo where the player comes from had a Vertibird crash-land near it, where you can find some tribal kid's dog, and also a crazy robot that needs a-murderin'.  Y'know, like most robots.  It's nice to find out that she survived!  I never really wondered; but hey that's cool!

A few more folks questioned, I find out that the lady running the NOVAC hotel actually sold Boone's wife to the Legion, with a bonus to be collected if Boone's wife's pregnancy came to term and produced a healthy baby.

Cold blooded, Jeannie May.  Fuckin' Cold. Blooded.

So I signaled to Boone who the snitch was, and he blew her away because snitches get stitches.

Go. Hunt. Kil Legionz.

Harsh.  WELL Boone; why don't you come with me? "No.  I'm a loner man; a rebel." OK PEE WEE; how 'bout we go shoot legionnaires?

360NoScopin' All day ERRY DAY.

Boone took little convincing when murdering Legion thugs went on the table.  I mean that shit's fun.  SO he gave me a hat!  A jaunty beret!  I wonder what it does...

Adds +4% SASSY and 4th finger snap talent becomes available.

Nice!  improved criticals for that extra bit of overkill.  I like that!  I wonder how'll I look in it.


Awwww yiss.   STYLES UPON STYLES.  Boone tells me that his t-rex sniper partner Manny might know 'bout the men I'm lookin' for...

♫ Gimme gimme gimme a man after midniiiiiiight ♫

By that I mean I want to shoot him in the head.  Repeatedly.

Manny's no snitch; he gives up that yeah he saw the guys; this dickbag in a loud jacket, and former gang-members he used to run with.  Real TOUGH types, Great Khans.  He'll tell me more, but first I gotta go deal with some ghouls out at the Repconn Rocket Test Site.  Something's driving them out of the lab/factory and into the surrounding areas (NOVAC).  That's no good.  SO; let's go fix a problem.  And by Fix, I mean shoot.  Because that's what I'm good at.

Dead guy?  Whatever look at all this TREASURE.


What could be in here... the second I walk in however, a raspy voice on the PA system guides me to the factory floor and up a metal stairwell, to get to the management offices; somebody needs my help and wants to keep me alive for hither-to unknown reasons; possibly to meet me because I am amazing.  I do not blame them.

Thank you!  I moisturize, thanks for noticing.

A little carousing and witty banter, the door opens and...

ED-E photobombing Chris here with his robo-dick.  Bravo. *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Chris here is an odd duck; he sounds like a ghoul, acts like one, but isn't a ghoul.  He fervently believes he's one though, and will debate the shit out of you if you say otherwise.  He wants me to talk to Jason Bright, his boss.  Which is odd, because all the ghouls I've met so-far were either dead, or feral, then also dead.  Because I killed them.  With bullets.  pew pew pew.


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