Primm's woes; pops-in-jail! and other such very obscure wordplay.

Hidey-ho weary travelers!

Last we spoke, I was headed off towards Primm, tiny settlement in the Mojave wasteland, rumored to be where my attackers had headed off to, not long ago.  A fast-talkin' type flanked by two raiders who seemed to be part of the Great Khans; a local group of nefarious and infamous bandits.  Spookyscary!

Oh well, off unto here forth, wot wot good chap!  Time to explore dem wastes, righto!

Amusement Park!  WOOOOOO

 That there's Primm in the distance; home to a Mojave Express courier counter (my employers), the Vicki & Vance Casino, and Bison Steve's Casino.  Wow, a two-casino town!  Shenanigans!

Two-headed Bear Cavalry; the ultimate warrior.

Well it seems the NCR (New California Republic) have set up shop here; they're trying to annex Primm into the NCR.  While they come with good intentions, i.e. bringing stability, economic growth, protection and other benefits befit to any citizen of the Republic, they also kind of want to do it regardless of Primm's choice in the matter.  NCR's at war with Caesar's Legion, and any foothold they can carve into the Mojave to secure supply lines, they'll take.  Its all very Occupational Forces kinda vibe, but the stationed guardsmen aren't too happy about it either.  For them, they feel they should be out further towards the East, securing stronger positions against Legion forces, leaving Primm independent and thus not a concern for NCR to devote Manpower / Resources towards.

Nonetheless as a Freelancer, they ask me to talk to the folks into lettin' them in maybe.  Well lets go see what's all up Primm's bonnet.

It's 'Bison and Steve' not 'Adam and Eve'!

Well there seems to be some thugs out in the street all a shootin'-up the place!  Mojave Express is empty, everything else besides the Vicki & Vance & Bison Steve seem destroyed or abandoned; might as well check one of them out.  Lets go to... Vicki & Vance!

No relation to Pluto.

Johnson here is the operator of the Planet Mojave Express kiosk where I'm a Delivery Boy courier.  He's also one to tell me just what's happened here in Primm; seems some escaped powder-gangers have ran amok, killed the sheriff, and taken his deputy hostage.  Poor ol' Deputy Beagle.  I've gotta rescue him says Johnson, just gotta!

Howdy Pard'ner!

"Primm Slim's the name.  Reciting the Vicki & Vance Casino & Resort lore & lunch menu's my game!"  He's just a friendly RobCo robot greeter with a cowboy hat.  He doesn't have anything else to offer information-wise as to those who assaulted me, OR the town sheriff & deputy so I best be back to exploring Primm.

MENDOZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Well further rootin' around Primm found me the Sheriff's Office... and the sheriff.  Or what's left of him, and his wife.  Sad, really.  Cut down in the prime of their sleep or something.  Powder Gangers are not only idiots for strapping themselves with dynamite all the time, but also cowards.  I won't stand for this.  I won-- wait what's that there...

"Clothes make the man" they say...

THERE'S A RADSNAKE IN MAH BOOT!

Aww yiss.  Lookit them new threads.  I am rootin' AND tootin'.  The Rooty Tootiest there ever was.  Unfortunately this doesn't make me the actual new sheriff of Primm, but Shhhh.  lets just have fun with it for now.

What time is i-... Evil O'Clock I guess, then.  Well.

That's what happens when you steal bars' worth of liquor and guns and everything else not nailed down sufficiently to be stolen when nobody's lookin'.  Oh well, Goodsprings idolize me, and Primm's about to get their deputy back AND have everything stolen but who knows who did that second part, sure wasn't me no sir no ma'am, I'll just mosey on outta here *jingle jingle jingle*

Bison Steve Casino: We have a rollercoaster. Fuck you.

The ol' Bison Steve looks mighty dilapidated, what with it being full of Powder Gangers.  Time I go clear it out for the good folks of Primm.

And I'm all out of bubb-- wait nevermind; found some!

The Bison Steve is now filled with freshly-shot corpses, with one 'leader' corpse holding an Incinerator.  It's essentially a flamethrower, if instead of a continuous stream limited in range it shot fireballs at you.  Its heavy and stupid and I can't use it anyways, so whatever.  It's on the floor.  You want it?  Come and get it.  I don't mind.

SPOOOOOOOON!

Doot doot doot, lookit' all them spoon!  This one's the biggest of them all!  And what's over there!?

REFRIGERATORS!

Oh man, Why's that one locked!?  Whatever could be inside it!?

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

OH MAN!  SCORE!  And what's that sound!?  That unlocking the fridge gave me enough EXP to level!?  WOOOOOOO

Aww yiss.  GETTIN' SMRT up in dis humpy-bumpy. Gimme dem SkillZ.

I feel smarter already!  Every time I level up, those extra skill points will really help me not suck so bad, so hooray for that.  What?  The tied up guy?  FINE I guess I'll go talk to Deputy Beagle.

I AM THE LAW.

Well Deputy Beagle's free!  However he doesn't want to fill the Sheriff's shoes; OR help out with the remaining thugs inside the Bison Steve.  I kinda didn't give him a chance with that though; since he supposedly knows where the folks that done what murder-attempted me went.  He's vehement about not telling me until we're out of here, so we're gonna go clear out the 2nd floor!

I mean I'm dressed like the sheriff and he's a deputy, might as well get our law-man duo on.

How will this end? Like Butch & Sundance in Bolivia? Tango & Cash in that weird pimped out SUV?  Maybe Riggs & Murtaugh with an explody-toilet?!

Come back next Tuesday to find out!